First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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