If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
