Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
