Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
