he thought i was a dude.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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