3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
