I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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