Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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