How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I deserve this hangover.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
