mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
