: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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