so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
there is glitter all over my balls
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