well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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