I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
