I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So squirting runs in the family.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
false alarm, still single
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