She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
