This girl is more easily done than said...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
