well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
