Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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