Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
