I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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