You smell like stripper and shame
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
