I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
