I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize