I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
