Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
