Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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