Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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