I think my vagina is haunted
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can I color on your dick again?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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