I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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