Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
