Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize