That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Sober January is a disaster.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
