I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
