She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
