I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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