if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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