Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
