I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
