The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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