She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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