I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
