he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
