that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
