I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
