who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
