she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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