We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
