My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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