She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
