South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We are two peas in an std pod
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
40s are totally the cure
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize