Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
