I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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