38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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