Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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