you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
