some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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