my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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