look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
