Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
