Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
