So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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